The World's First
Protein + Superfoods
vodka
Pro-Tini™
Upgrade your protein with one pour. Just add I'm parched! vodka and create your own Pro-Tini™ Martini or Pro-Tini™ cocktail.
Sip Strong.
Live Well.
The Vodka That Won’t
Ruin Your Workout.
I'm parched!
vodka(750ML)
0 Carbs | Gluten-Free | 60 Calories
Ultra-Premium Texas made spirit
40% ALC/VOL (80 Proof) 750ML
“I’m parched!” v o d k a is an ultra-premium, certified organic spirit crafted with purity, purpose, and a touch of play. With a subtle, smooth, and silky mouthfeel and a graceful, floral-forward finish, it's clean by design and elevated in experience.
Formulated with the finest organic herbs, concentrated superfoods, and a rare plant-based protein known as The Miracle Berry, our ingredients are added after distillation — preserving their full intensity and integrity.
| TASTE | While unflavored by design, our vodka delivers a smooth, silky mouthfeel where elegance meets nature with a graceful, floral-forward finish—crafted from plant-based protein, gluten-free grains, and nutrient-rich superfoods sourced from farms in Hawaii. |
|---|---|
| AROMA | A delicate floral bouquet, a refined reflection of the organic superfoods that define its purity and sophistication. |
| BODY & COLOR | As light as a whisper and smooth as silk, the body carries a soft moonlit glow—a blend of our miracle berry protein that dances like starlight across the palate and gleams like magic in the glass. |
$39.99
Officially
Sip-Worthy.
We’ve got the looks — year after year, I’m parched! vodka has earned top honors and SIP international medals. Our bottle proves it’s more than a pretty face.
Real Ingredients | No Added Sugar | 60 Calories
Our Not-So-Secret Superpower!
Clean, Crisp Flavor
Subtle, silky-smooth and lightly floral, I'm parched! sips clean with zero burn and a hint of botanicals.
Powered by Plants
Packed (post-distillation) with ethically sourced botanicals and potent superfood extracts to preserve purity and flavor.
Quietly Functional
Powered by a smooth, plant-based protein blend – functional but flavorless, with zero impact on taste or texture.
Crafted with Intention
Backed by FDA-approved ingredients & extensive R&D. Organic, gluten-free, and sugar-free – what’s in it (& what isn’t!) matters.
Mix | Shake | Sip | Repeat
Our Favorite
Pro-Tini™
Recipes!
Your Cocktail or Protein Martini, Upgraded. Just Add I’m parched! vodka
From hosting to hydrating (with style), these plant-powered pours balance wellness with a wink of indulgence.
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Ginger Glow Pro-Tini™🍸
Ingredients: 3 oz I'm parched! vodka, 1 tbsp organic pickled ginger, 1–4 fresh mint leaves, 1–4 jalapeño slices (optional), 1 oz fresh juiced greens, 2 oz fresh lime juice, 1 egg white, 2 oz sparkling water
Instructions: Lightly press together ginger, mint, and jalapeño. Add green juice, lime juice, egg white, and vodka. Shake with ice (50+ times!) until frothy. Top with sparkling water and garnish with mint, lime, or jalapeño.
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Solar Flare Pro-Tini™
Ingredients: 1.5 oz. I'm parched! vodka, pineapple cubes, turmeric, club soda, and lime juice
Instructions: Muddle pineapple cubes in a shaker. Add vodka, lime juice and a pinch of turmeric, shake, strain into a glass with ice, top with club soda. Add a pineapple slice to garnish. Want to make it a little spicy? Add tajin to the rim of the glass
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Peachy Keen Pro-Tini™
Ingredients: 1.5 oz. I'm parched! vodka, peach slices, basil leaves, lemon juice, and club soda
Instructions: Muddle peach slices and basil leaves in a shaker. Add the vodka and lemon juice, shake, strain into a glass with ice. Add the club soda. Garnish with peach slices and basil leaves.
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Blush & Bubbles Pro-Tini™
Ingredients: 1.5 oz. I'm parched! vodka, blueberries, raspberries, or any mixed berries of your choice, lemon juice, sparkling water
Instructions: Muddle berries in a glass, add ice, vodka, lemon juice, top with sparkling water. Add a lemon slice and some berries for garnish.
Protein
Superfoods
Plant-Based
Organic
Ultra Premium
No Sugar Added
Unflavored
Rewriting
The Cocktail
Playbook!
One Silky Plant-Powered
Protein Pour at a Time.
Sipped & Approved!
Frequently Asked
Questions
The exact amount is part of our secret sauce, but let’s just say — it’s not nothing. A little plant-powered protein never hurt anybody.
You can find us on shelves or place orders through these fabulous retailers:
- San Antonio: AnArte Gallery, Alamo City Liquor
- Austin: Monarch Liquor Stores, Wiggy’s Liquor Store
- Statewide (TX): Twin Liquors, Spec’s — just ask if you don’t see us!
- Nationwide (USA): Right here on our website
Absolutely. Our vodka stays smooth, clear, and ready to pour — no freezing, no clumping. Just clean, crisp flavor with every sip.
You sure can! Our bottle’s global award-winning design isn’t just pretty — it’s functional — just lift the lid. Sip straight from the sculpted bamboo cap and toast to taste + innovation.
We did! After years of R&D, our formula received FDA approval. Every ingredient is clean, plant-based, organic, vegan, Kosher and ethically sourced from nutrient-rich farms in Hawaii and South Africa.
Our blend is organic, plant-based protein + superfoods — but we’re not here to make health claims. What we can say? Your trainer just might cheer with you and toast to Pro-Tini™.
Great question! Our protein vodka is technically classified as a “flavored vodka” by the U.S. Government even though it tastes just like traditional vodka.
This classification is required solely because we add protein, which is a unique ingredient. According to federal labeling rules, any ingredient added — flavoring or not — puts a spirit into the "flavored" category.
Rest assured, I’m parched! v o d k a — is all-natural and unflavored with zero burn and zero carbs!